Trusting Desire: Full Moon in Scorpio 2015

Juno and Jupiter by Gavin Hamilton;
unknown date.
Full Moon @ 13 Scorpio 23'
May 3, 2015
11:42 PM Eastern
8:42 PM Pacific

The current lunar cycle culminates in the tropical sign of Scorpio. As always, the seeds that were planted at the New Moon two weeks ago come to fruition in some obvious or subtle way.  In Scorpio, the Full Moon brings to your awareness the need for honesty and realism, as well as certain fears and vulnerabilities you may be concealing.

Scorpio is a sign that deals with issues surrounding trust—though that may not be so obvious. We associate Scorpio with uncomfortable truths, death, transformation, intimacy and often sex. Those are touchy subjects in and of themselves (culturally speaking), but at the heart of Scorpio is the ability to trust that nature, the engine of our natural, primal urges, knows what it’s doing. We can’t successfully experience such things unless we have cultivated enough trust to let down our guard and surrender to them.

The traditional ruler of Scorpio is Mars, a planet that in evolutionary astrology we associate with the drive to fulfill desire, desires which fundamentally and hypothetically belong to some “higher” aspect of the self we call the soul. According to Buddhist and even Hindu philosophies, we are souls bound by desire and attachment; life is essentially a process through which the soul attempts to exhaust its desires to ultimately be freed of attachment and thus suffering.

I have a mantra that seems to work for me, but it is certainly not devoid of controversy. It goes something like this: “Follow every desire, even if it tries to kill you.” Now, in my reality, I feel that one should do as they will as long as it doesn’t interfere with the free will of another person. In other words, if your desire is to control, manipulate, dominate or coerce another person, then you are playing a very different game, and one in which your desire can lead to disaster (but then again, who am I to judge?) You may also be a sociopath, but that’s a whole other topic, and I doubt you would be reading my blog.

Our desires may involve other people, but the process through which we fulfill them should include a conscious collaboration as well as full disclosure of intentions and consent from all those involved. That usually refers to sexual desires, but can be applied to many different things. The key to living a successful, vibrant and fulfilling life seems to lie in the skill of mastering one's will (amongst a lot of other things. I don’t have all the answers).

This is different from trying to control or dominate the will, or worse, trying to deny or suppress desire. Mastery of one’s will is the skill of being able to openly acknowledge and compromise between what you desire and the ability to direct it consciously toward right action—that is to say, action that is right for you and your unique spiritual path.  Sometimes my desires have gotten me into trouble; sometimes they have seemingly led me astray, to the edge of a precipice where I glimpsed my inevitable death.

Those were eye-opening experiences, to say the least. Those moments, while terrifying and uncomfortable, seem to be the very experiences that had the most impact on me as a person. They cut to the bone, to the soul level. They showed me who I really was and what I was made of. In those moments, I somehow survived. I didn’t die, but death is always there, stalking us, waiting for us. 

When you actually face death, when you look it in the eye, you can’t help but be transformed by such an experience. It is a frightening and yet beautiful experience. So, to master one’s will successfully, one must learn to trust one's desires which may lead us to some uncomfortable places, but ultimately, it's for our own good.

This is certainly not a perfect mantra exempt from debate regarding its actual efficaciousness, but for me, it speaks of an uncomfortable truth: life isn’t about avoiding pain; it’s about surrendering to the inevitable hurt that we will encounter on our journey through life, and to ultimately allow our pain to transform us. In our openness to embrace the love of the universe, we must be open and trusting that every moment has a potential meaning, and within each moment there is an essential purpose and intention that is guiding us toward a greater purpose than our own individual life.

The ancients understood this well. As depicted in the myths of the sacrificed savior/god/deity such as Jesus, Prometheus, Osiris, Mithra, Dionysus, etc., we essentially come to Earth to ultimately get torn apart. That’s a rather raw and graphic way of describing the root of our existential human condition, which is rather Scorpionic, is it not? As I’ve shared before, sometimes the poison is the medicine.

This was a brilliant insight my most cherished therapist once told me when analyzing my dream involving a venomous spider. The poison is sometimes the medicine. What might be “bad” for us, what might seem negative based on certain preconditioned moralistic principles, may actually turn out to be our savior and thus our saving grace. It is also the root idea underlining allopathic medicine.

Jupiter conjunct Juno in Leo squares the Full Moon axis. Here we have a profound statement about the need to trust desire and take a risk, a leap of faith. Perhaps this involves a relationship with someone else (Juno). Perhaps it involves some other kind of relationship or commitment you are currently considering. The Full Moon illuminating Scorpio, filling the void of the unconscious with light and awareness, points to the necessity of seeing things honestly and realistically without losing sight of the need to play and be spontaneous.

It requires a kind of openness and an ability to accept vulnerability. It may require direct, eye contact. It may require an open discussion about what you really want or desire. It may be a prelude to a conflict if you’re not careful, but when we come from a place of love, love rooted in openness and a trusting nature; we can look into that void knowing that life appears to know what it’s doing. And while sometimes serious, life is also a game, and it can be fun; our desires will show us the way.

P.S. Mercury turns retrograde this month! Don't panic though. Mercury retrograde is a great time to take it easy and to take more time to do things. The universe will support you in that. Stay tuned for my next article on this month's Mercury retrograde cycle. 

Mercury enters shadow May 4, 2015
Mercury turns stationary retrograde May 18, 2015
Mercury turns stationary direct June 11, 2015
Mercury leaves shadow June 26, 2015

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