Solar Eclipse May 2013

Surrendering The Past

Why is that when reflecting upon the past, we sometimes find it painful? Maybe there's some memory attached conjuring a sense of loss, of failure, or something which has died and is now deeply missed. As we get older, this becomes more prominent in consciousness; it's the crystallizing awareness of Saturn. Regrets, disappointments, shortcomings--they all seem to slowly have more relevance than they did before. As we age, time becomes more real, more solid, more ephemeral. I noticed recently that this process has been gradually increasing in my own awareness. Perhaps it's just the natural side effect of my encroaching Saturn return; this event which has loomed before me for quite some time--and now, it's getting a lot more real. I'm starting to really understand why this is such a big step in one's growth and awareness. Astrologer Steven Forrest, in speaking on the Saturn return process, compares it to puberty, which once severed us from adolescence. I think this is a rather apt description [1].

How do you describe puberty to a seven year old child? The feelings, emotions, desires--how could one possibly understand this transformation before hand? The truth is, they can't. According to Steven, this is the same with the Saturn return. It's like a second puberty. There's no way you can comprehend these changes until you reach them. Saturn returns to its natal placement around the age of 29 and 30, or in some cases, such as mine, 28--how lucky am I? I've noticed this increasing sense of urgency--to do something, anything, to grow up quick, before it's too late. I've felt this uprising fear that there isn't enough time; that life is slipping away. The clock is ticking faster, the hours are passing more quickly. I need to act, I need to step up. There's this overwhelming pressure placed upon consciousness, it's a reality which I was always aware of, but until recently, never truly quite understood or comprehended--and I suppose, I still won't completely grasp until it's official. Anyway....

Recently, within the past few days, I've noticed this "portal to the past" opening, as I like to call it. It's these periods of time where we are suddenly drawn toward reflecting on the past, and in some ways, urged to re-create or re-experience it, as if we could once again capture its essence--and in many ways, we do, it's sort of an energy field that surrounds us, triggering memories like a familiar smell. I feel like this is a prominent feature of astrological anomalies like certain retrograde cycles (obviously), and eclipses, which we are currently at the epicenter of. Eclipses are quite unusual experiences, and it's interesting how quickly we forget just how prominent they are and their impact on our lives. Why is this? I suppose it's because they symbolize change. They quicken the process of inner and outer transformation. Sometimes change in and of itself is frightening, and sometimes traumatic.

The Sun is the "now", it's the pure light of conscious awareness, self-expression, and the primary fuel source of the ego, the I am. The moon can be likened to our more "hidden", personal, and intimate nature, and thus also, to the "past"--it is our conditioning, our formative foundation, our securities, instincts, and inner motivations. With a solar eclipse, in particular, like the one occurring on May 9th, these two constructs of psyche merge and mingle in a very unique way. Unlike other new moons, the eclipse is an actual direct alignment of earth, sun, and moon. In astrology, we call this an occultation; a very potent and powerful conjunction of planets. We could say that, in a way, the past and present melt and fuse together. Veils which once obscured and blinded us from certain truths are suddenly lifted to reveal a hidden, and sometimes, disconcerting reality. We find ourselves at the edge of a precipice--and as with any astrological event, we're urged to make certain choices about how we wish to proceed.

Do we jump? Take the leap of faith? Or do we back away, overwhelmed by vertigo, clinging to the past and the familiar womb of safety, certainty, and the "known". These two constructs, of past and present, come together to form some third thing which to our present awareness presents itself as this unknown and unfamiliar formation. What do we do with it? Where do we fit it into our present awareness? I think that most of the time, overwhelmed by the experience, we choose to cling or to go back to what we know. We can't quite fit this new and unusual experience into our reality, and so we sometimes choose to ignore it. The reality is that it doesn't just go away. We can't really shove it under the rug; and so it manifests itself outside of us, forcing some kind of change to take place. The reason the past comes up at these times, is because it is a necessary processing that takes place within the psyche, to essentially make way for this new emerging awareness and experience.

It's like a psychic clearing of the house. We're shuffling through the clutter, going through the boxes, brushing off the dust and cobwebs. Suddenly we find an old photo, a familar object from our childhood, and we stop and reminisce--we get somehow lost in the process, forgetting our original intention which was to make more room or reorganize the space around us. Eclipses invite us to process the past, and surrender to the emerging reality before and within us. We can't stop the changes that must take place now, on both a personal and collective/societal level. If we choose to ignore what's happening within us, if we choose to run back to what we know, what we've already experienced--then it is very likely these changes will come from without, from some external force. Either way, something shifts within us. That's the whole point.

How far can you go with this? How deeply can you really go? Ask yourself these questions, they're important. Can you let go? Can you surrender the past, and make way for the new? This process comes and goes. Just as the Sun will rise tomorrow, another eclipse will return. We'll find ourselves back here, back at this precipice once more. Unlike other eclipse cycles, however, we are in the midst of a unique eclipse Trifecta. This creates an extended process of inner and outer transformation to take hold of us. It might be scary, and a little uncomfortable, but it's best if you choose to face this whole thing head on, and really make the leap. We are opening up to more space, more awareness, and ultimately, more consciousness. We can't change the past. It's over, but we can shape the future. What we choose now will very much alter the course that lies before us. So when in doubt take the plunge. Jump. Trust and have faith in yourself; but don't be hasty, there's no rush. Saturnian time is ultimately an illusion. Go with it. Flow with it. It's a process.

When we stop and realize that we're merely a part of a great unfolding, that all that we need to do is step aside and let it happen; it becomes a whole lot easier to manage. Keep this in mind. I think that ultimately, my own sense of urgency in regards to my Saturn return is entirely reactionary. No one can force puberty, and you don't just wake up one morning with pimples and strange urges toward to the opposite, or the same sex. It's a process. What's happening to me--these new feelings, experiences, and sensations, they'll become commonplace one day, just like all that hair under my armpits. So keep that in mind as well. What might be uncomfortable in the moment will be fully assimilated all in due time.

Anyone feeling this?

For those astrologically privy, look to the house in your horoscope where this eclipse falls, at 19 degrees of Taurus. This will clearly describe the area of life where this leap can take place for you. As I described in my previous article, this particular eclipse is about clearing out stagnation and moving beyond patterns of stubbornness. Meditate on these symbols, but ultimately, just do what comes naturally to you now, while being mindful of the tendency to cling or stay stuck in familiar old patterns.If the eclipse touches on specific "tigger points", ie. planets or certain placements in the chart, then this process will be exceptionally pronounced. 

Notes & Comments

[1] Puberty arises about around the time of the Saturn opposition; that is, Saturn opposite natal Saturn, around age 14--the halfway point of the 30 year Saturn cycle. 

A Progressive Unfolding

Annular Solar Eclipse
May 9, 2013
19 degrees Taurus 31'
5:28 PM Pacific
8:28 PM Eastern

Get out of that funk, step into the flow

Trust the process. Relax, really let that sink in. It's a process. You can feel it; it's formative, palpable, and within your grasp--and yet, it has no name, no label, no separative form of identification. It just is--a solid and indefinitely real form, and yet there's no restriction placed, no analysis or judgement. Hold it tightly, what does it feel like? Notice the texture, the temperature, the shape. How does it make you feel, how does it shift your vibration? Get into the resonance. If you listen carefully, there's a beat, there's a rhythm, and there's a pulse. It's beyond words, beyond concepts, and beyond time. You're tuning in now, you're allowing yourself to just have the experience. Just a true and authentic experience of being.

Grounding, centering, and integrating--we enter a powerful force field with the approaching Annular Solar Eclipse in Taurus. The intensity of the previous Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio settles into a more stable and solid energetic configuration. There is a strong sense of arriving, of coming "back to earth". This Eclipse speaks to us deeply, it reaches into our very core and asks us to get real with what we truly want to bring forward, and to get active in the process of moving past immobility, stubbornness, and stagnation. But first, get solid in your foundation. That's really important.

This is the second of three eclipses. This triple eclipse energy is a rare phenomena, since usually, eclipses occur in pairs. This is a rich and fertile time for creativity, and for opening up to new realms. Be mindful of new dimensions, hidden aspects of your reality and within your mind.  Taurus is all about stability; it's about rooting ourselves and plugging into the progressive beat of the earth. Feel that connection, sink your roots deep down in. With this stellium of planets in Taurus (Mars, Mercury, Sun/Moon, and Pallas Athena), this generates a powerful determination, focus, and patience to carry things out--urging us to progressively and methodically participate in the process of deep and lasting change.

Because this is a south nodal eclipse, wherever it lands in our horoscope, is an area of life in which we must consciously shift and transform the energy, because there is a massive build up of stagnation, and something has got to give. If this eclipse touches specific planets or points, ideally by conjunction, then this process will be exceptionally pronounced. It creates the feeling that whatever it is, can no longer wait, something has to change, it has to get moving. This can be a challenge to navigate because Taurus must do things slowly, progressively, and over time--and yet, there is an unconscious impatience due to the prolonged period of inaction or immobility. Patience and persistence must be balanced with a strong sense of motivation.

Eclipse without, Eclipse within

The Moon passes over the Sun, momentarily shrouding its light in darkness. It's a sacred moment, beautiful and haunting. Whether one is able to physically witness this event or not, it occurs within us all, in our minds and within our very soul. It permeates all dimensions. What we see is only the shadow, the very tip of a process our limited awareness can but partially grasp. Understand that this is a collective process of unfolding, we're all apart of it. This is a critical time of deep growth and transmutation, on both a collective and personal level. It is through these transmutations that, at the other end, we find ourselves on a very different path than we originally had planned.

 In Taurus, we're dealing with issues of self-worth, personal and collective values, and resources. Obviously, core values will be challenged willingly or unwillingly. Going within and assessing these matters is rather crucial right now, and will have lasting benefits later down the road. Everything outside us, every unfolding event or circumstance is but a projection of an inner process. When eclipses occur, this reality becomes increasingly clear. The division between inner and outer becomes momentarily blurred, and we can but glimpse, briefly, the deeper mechanization of consciousness. There is innately a strong desire to change and transmute certain aspects of our lives. It is a powerful "fork in the road", which we can consciously navigate if we so choose.

Taurus is a fixed sign, so there is an equally strong desire to maintain things, and this presents some conflict between the desire for personal change and an equally powerful inclination to just "keep the peace", or to keep things as they are because they feel stable and secure. However, with Mars at the south node, there is much less complacency and much more impetus, which can result in action or possible frustration. Again, it's important to trust the process that's occurring right now, even if you're unsure of where exactly it's all going. We're invited to deeply look into what it is we really want, value, and identify with--and sometimes that's a rather painful process.

Letting go of attachments is never easy, but whenever we really just throw ourselves into this, we are often surprised by what gets put back in its place. Whatever changes made within you now will be the foundation for future stability, which ensures success in weathering storms ahead. Everything changes; it happens whether we participate or not. It happens within, and it happens without. We can choose to hold on and get carried away by the storm, or we can let go, and let the tidal wave of transformation sweep us up on a wave of creativity. Either way, we change. Either way, we move on.

We're dealing with a lot of energy here, since there is a rather large cluster of planets surrounding this eclipse. What are you identifying yourself with? Are you using it to hide something about yourself? Does it truly represent you on an authentic soul level? Dig deeper to the core, there you will find valuable gems. At the root of it, the Taurus archetype operates most functionally when the aim is self-sufficiency and internal validation. Be diligent; when coming up against a roadblock, keep going. Slowly and methodically go deeper, really deep, and see where it all goes. It might take some time, a little hard work, but the process is what it's really all about. Oh, and be gentle with yourself.

Key Aspects

Pallas Athena conjunct Eclipse
Athena, warrior goddess of wisdom. This opens the potential for devising creative strategies in regards to resources. New ideas may simply plop into awareness, and suddenly the path before you makes a little more sense than it did before, albeit slightly re-routed. Equally, this allows for a critical scrutiny of what's going on beneath the facade of our attachments.

Mars conjunct the South Node/Eclipse
In Taurus, Mars gets a little frustrated, but that's ok. Mars coming in here allows us to get active in the process of transmuting past patterns of stubbornness and stagnation. "Keep calm and carry on" just isn't going to do it anymore. This is a powerful impetus for change. While having to contend with much slower pace, Mars still provides a valuable fuel for deep and lasting transformation. 

Ceres/Pluto/Uranus T-Square
The Pluto/Uranus Square is the background scenery of social unrest, scientific breakthroughs, and a practical integration of radical concepts, theories, and methodologies developed around the Pluto/Uranus conjunction in the late 1960's. Ceres, the earth mother, faces Pluto (god of the underworld) head on. With the Taurus archetype deeply fermented by this eclipse, we are dealing with powerful themes surrounding the health and well-being of our bodies, which are extensions of the greater body, the planet Earth. This is a powerful collective shift toward the awareness that we must make some critical choices in how we relate to the planet, and how we relate to our own bodies. We live in a very strange and alien world currently, one that is strikingly much different than it was even forty some years ago.

We are completely saturated with toxins and synthetic pollutants. We're exposed to a daily bombardment of stress inducing frequencies and vibrations. We truly have no idea the long term consequences that all of this will have upon our very genetics. We are already witnessing a pandemic of disease, mutation, and mental/emotional dysfunction on a scale unheard of in human history. This isn't a negative take here, it's just a cold hard look at reality; and that's what this configuration asks us to do. Take a cold hard look at how our desire to control and manipulate natural forces has led to this ever increasing state of collective and global entropy.

Ceres, quite simply, deals with food and nutrition. It's the ultimate bottom line. Really, it is. We all have to eat; without food not much would happen. With Uranus in the mix, obviously we get themes of genetically modified and chemically altered foods. Something is shifting here with all of this; this is a critical collective and personal turning point in relation to what we choose to put into our bodies. It's not as simple as just going back to the way things used to be, things are much more complicated. With Uranus, we are challenged to find innovative ways of merging past wisdom with current technological advances.

Jupiter semi-sextile Eclipse
What would otherwise be a mostly meditative and peaceful "in the moment" type of eclipse, gets a slight jolt of a cerebral and mental interlude (along with Venus in Gemini). This can create a bit of a conflict between a more internalized process and one motivated by an insatiable curiosity in regards to external affairs. Used constructively, we can integrate all this mental chatter by getting really grounded first, and making sure we have a solid base before expanding outwardly.

Venus conjunct Alcyone
Venus, ruler of the eclipse, shifts into Gemini, conjoining the fixed star Alcyone, the central star of the Pleiades. We experienced an Annular Solar Eclipse at this position last May, and that portal is quite active here. Look around for connections. It feels as if some bridge is forming between last years Transit of Venus/Eclipse energy (May-early June 2012) and the process we're experiencing now. Alcyone represents a cathartic release of deep emotions, and sometimes deals with themes of great suffering.

Chrion sextile Mars/South Node
This energizes a healing process that's been in the works, creating more motivation and excitation toward becoming more whole and complete within oneself. Pluto's sextile to Chiron further deepens this process, allowing for a gentle, and yet penetrating transmutation to take place. Opportunities to integrate and heal are at hand.

Eclipse Activations
Eclipses open up active portals within the zodiac, which get triggered or "activated" when others planets make direct contact to the degree in which it occurred. The following dates signify such times:

April 30, 2013- Prior to the event, Venus conjoins eclipse portal.
May 16, 2013- Mars conjoins Eclipse
Dec 22, 2013- Saturn Opposes Eclipse (Direct)
May 17, 2014- Saturn Opposes Eclipse (Retrograde)
August 28, 2014- Mars Opposes Eclipse
Sept 20, 2014 Saturn Opposes Eclipse (Direct)